Felicity Morse is the self-appointed Grinch of Valentine’s day:
“Walk into any shop and you’re practically attacked by romance. Angry red hearts dangle threateningly from ceiling tiles, cushions shouting LOVE are scattered accusingly across displays, and judgmental teddies guard stands like scornful sentinels. It’s not just in gift shops anymore either, even our food has to be heart-shaped. This annoys me most. It is far more difficult to binge eat into oblivion my fear that I will be forever alone when all the brownies and pizzas are shaped like hearts.”
It’s not coming just from card and candy shoppes either: “I’ve been emailed by blind companies, residential property experts, some place that sells morphsuits, Sainsbury’s bank, a phone company, Malt loaf, Costa Coffee and Lego. . . . La Tasca is offering facial expression lessons, which apparently will show me how to turn my ‘smouldering look’ into a ‘full on sex blaze’? What the hell is a ‘sex blaze’? It sounds like an STI.”
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