Sen. Spector Announces Gender Switch

Washington, April 29 — Sen. Arlen Spector of Pennsylvania today announced that he will change gender, in addition to changing his party affiliation from Democratic to Republican.

“Our polls indicate that Democratic voters in Pennsylvania thought they were voting for an ‘Arlene Spector,’ all along,” Sen. Spector told reporters at during a pedicure and waxing today. “Now that I am running in the Democratic rather than the Republican primary, my advisors have told me that a switch to female gender will improve name recognition.”

In addition, the Senate’s newest Democrat said, “we believe that a female candidate will have an advantage among Pennsylvania Democrats. I didn’t want to leave my political career in the hands of Republican primary voters, and I’m going to everything possible in the Democratic primaries to shave the odds—including shaving my legs.”