Abe Lincoln Gets a Nose Job

The Treasury Department may be uglyfying our currency , but the portraits on the bills are being prettied up to meet our modern standards of beauty. Newsweek asked New York plastic surgeon surgeon Dr. David Hidalgo to examine the extreme makeovers .

Here’s what he has to say about the updates to Honest Abe’s look:

R. HIDALGO: ‘President Lincoln has been treated to a full-face laser peel that has removed all blemishes and has rejuvenated his sun-damaged skin [this is the effect of a softer engraving technique with no dotted lines]. He has been treated to a haircut and an expert dye job that leaves only a few wisps of distinguished gray color. His beard has been trimmed to give him a less disheveled look. His eyebrows have been waxed to remove errant hairs. He has gotten small cheek implants that he did not need (it would have been better to fill in his hollow cheeks with fat or injectables). His nasolabial folds are a bit softer, suggesting the addition of injectable fillers. Surgically, he has been treated to a subtle rhinoplasty that retains a masculine look. The nose is straightened and the aged, drooping tip raised. He has had his lower-eyelid bags surgically removed, effectively eliminating a tired look.’