A Festival of Poi, Roast Pig, and Lifelong Commitment

I have spoken before about my friend, Manolo the Shoe Blogger . Well, I call him my friend, though, in fact, we’ve only exchanged emails. But he is a brilliant writer who has established, for his blogging, the faux voice of an Italian fashion obsessive whose English is much worse than he thinks it is. Since I do pretty much the same kind of writing , I feel perhaps more kinship with the man than really exists.

If you haven’t yet discovered Manolo, try a pair of recent posts. The one on the latest episode of Project Runway , for instance, which begins, “Manolo says, ayyyy! Who knew Brooke Shields was so nice! She is like the giant, beautiful goddess of nice, radiating kindness and good humor everywhere. Clutch us to your ample bosom, Giant Goddess Brooke! Teach us to be nice to annoying persons with consciously outré hairstyles and studied personality traits. We are your votaries!”

Or the one in which he responds to a request for shoe advice . The desperate letter reads,

Dear Manolo,

In September I’m getting married in an informal ceremony on a Hawaiian beach. I’ll be wearing a vivid ocean blue jersey sundress with simple Tahitian pearl jewelry and white orchids in my hair. I’m not going to wear shoes on the beach, but for the dinner after the ceremony, I’ll need a pair of sandals, something affordable that’s pretty but not too fussy.

Emily

And the answer is:

Manolo says, how the Manolo well remembers the single beach wedding he attended, many years ago, in the seaside resort mecca of Panama City, Florida. (Where all of your wildest mini-golf and ribald t-shirt desires may be satisfied!)

It was the beautiful and moving ceremony, the bride in the lovely, white sundress-ish thing, the groom so handsome in his tuxedo from the Jimmy Buffet “Margauritaville” collection. The Manolo nearly wept with joy for his friends.

And then the sand fleas came.

Afterward, the fragrance of calamine lotion and domestic beer scented the magic Redneck Riviera night.

Ayyy! Hawaii! You will need the most beautiful shoes possible for your festival of poi, roast pig, and lifelong commitment.

Here is the simply beautiful and affordable sandal that is available in 14 colors, including this marvelous platinum.

Yes, it’s not really First Things -y. But you gotta love a definition of Panama City, Florida, as the place “where all of your wildest mini-golf and ribald t-shirt desires may be satisfied!”