Man Does Not Live by Missionary Alone

Never let it be said that too much water has passed under the bridge, nor too much missionary under the Hollandaise, for the grand and glorious act of confession to affect reconciliation, both on the vertical and horizontal planes .

In the 1830s, the Reverend John Williams was the most famous missionary of the age. Now, 170 years after his murder the descendants of those responsible invited his family to Erromango, part of the island nation of Vanuatu. Charles Milner-Williams, of Hampshire, was among those who made the journey . . . . Mr Milner-Williams said eye-witness accounts from the captain of the missionary ship “Camden” describe what happened. He said: “Harris [a second missionary], who was the furthest inland, was clubbed down and killed. John Williams turned and ran towards the sea. They caught up with him on the sea shore. They clubbed him and shot him with arrows and he died there in the shallows.”

Lest anyone think this an ordinary clubbing of clergy (and who hasn’t felt a momentary urge to give, if not a right good thrashing, at least an atomic noogie to a preacher of dubious theology):

“It was a Royal Navy ship that went back to the island. The islanders then said that yes they had killed and eaten both Harris and Williams.”

The meal ultimately was well-digested, as the island is now predominantly Christian. And hopefully vegetarian.