If You Say So

Okay, so, I’m thinking Dante —

Dude, I know he’s a poet.

No, I don’t really know what they do, either.

Wait, wait, he’s a poet, but he’s, like, a poet . . . warrior. With a sword. You know, “The sword is mightier than the pen.”

Whatever.

Anyway, so he has this girlfriend, and she’s dead. And he’s got to, like, bring her back and stuff.

Dude, I know in the book she’s in Heaven, but why would he want to bring her back from there? People don’t want to come back from Heaven. That game would be all Dante trying to slash his way in, and the angels going, “No, dude, go away.”

No, see, he’s going to fight his way through Hell. With a . . . not a sword, a cross. “The cross is mightier than the sword.”

Whatever. And a scythe.

I don’t know why a scythe. Because it’s what that death dude carries. It’s bad. It’s, like, underworld bad.

And Vergil — he’s like another poet, but Dante like channels him — anyway, he’ll be a disembodied voice reciting parts of the poem.

What poem?

Dude, have you not heard a word I’ve been saying to you?

Dante’s Inferno: The Video Game

Coming in 2010.

[Rating: 76/100]

Not your dad’s Commedia for sure . . .

Thanks to Judy W. for the link.

More Dante online:

Danteworlds. Not an amusement park.

A Virtual Tour of Hell

Find your level of Hell with this Inferno Test, from the same people who brought you “the famous Personality Disorder Test,” so you know it’s . . . uh . . . a test.

Or you could, like, read it. But that’s extreme, dude.