Choosing to Be Straight, Choosing to Be a Father

The U.K.’s The Times has a remarkable article by a four-one year old pilot named Patrick Muirhead that contains one of the most surprising titles I’ve ever seen in a mainstream newspaper: “ The day I decided to stop being gay ”

Choosing an excerpt that does justice to the piece is difficult so I encourage you to simply read it in its entirety .

Although I’ve heard similar stories before—mostly from friends in the “ex-gay” movement—they have all been motivated, in some part, by Christian beliefs. If Muirhead was motivated at all by faith, he doesn’t mention it. Instead, his decision to, as he says, “stop being gay,” was based on a response to natural law or common grace. The primary motivation for Muirhead is a desire to be a father. He wants to have a child “the old-fashioned way”—by nature’s means of procreation rather than by the laboratory’s path of reproduction.

Muirhead’s article is refreshingly candid and personal. While he makes some extrapolations from his own experience, he doesn’t try to argue a larger political or sociological point. He mostly relates his own story, sharing his aspirations, desires, and motives, and explaining how they conflict. It is a shockingly clear-eyed assessment and a reminder that no matter what innate desires might orient our choices, we are ultimately responsible for how we choose to live.

Muirhead appears to be an extraordinary man—which is quite a shame. The world would be a much better place if all men—whether gay or straight—shared his affection for the natural family.