So, here’s what they suggest doing.
In the contrarian spirit of Saint Jerome, whose feast it was first, here are some alternative ideas:
Put a WWJDrive bumper sticker on your 15-passenger van.
Tell a girl that growing up to be a wife and mommy is an interesting and intellectually satisfying thing to do.
Buy a boy an AirSoft gun, some genuine lead soldiers, and a miniature Mass set.
Remind yourself that the entire world isn’t twenty-two years old, and that looking and acting your age is not a sign of dementia.
Admit that you don’t know who Jon and Kate are, much less care what they do.
Shop at Wal-Mart.
Drink some instant coffee, some Hawaiian Punch, and/or some jug wine.
Do something for the sole reason that your husband would like it.
Admit that you hated reading Lolita.
Put a disposable diaper on that baby.
Wave a Confederate battle flag (it’s one way to get people to talk to you).
Stay married.
Sing “Onward, Christian Soldiers.”
Don’t work out.
This would also be a good day to recite the Divine Praises as a subversive gesture.
(With many thanks to my group of friends who’ve been sending around their own “alternative blasphemy” suggestions. This is my contribution to that conversation.)
Dear Reader,
Can I be direct with you?
War abroad. Socialists on the rise. AI upending human life. Endless uproar online. The modern attention economy doesn’t want readers — it wants users enslaved to the tyranny of the present.
First Things is the antidote: literary excellence, timeless truths, and a fixed point of reference in a culture that has lost its bearings.
But we can’t do it without readers like you.
Our goal: Raise $150,000 by November 1 to sustain First Things in the year ahead.
Your gift anchors readers in the permanent things.
Make your Fall Campaign gift now using the button below.
If you have any questions or would like more information, please contact Giovanni Del Piero, Director of the Editor’s Circle, at gdelpiero@firstthings.com or 212-627-1985.
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