Arnold Terminates Relationship with Fed

So, Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (I still can’t get used to saying that) is going to sue the federal government for standing in his way on setting Californicentric emission-control standards.

According to a former Schwarzenegger adviser: “He’s got a pretty strong personality, the governor has, and wants to get things done. If the federal government is one of those obstacles, then he’ll run that tank he has over it. It’s not particularly anything personal, I think.”

Thank goodness for that. Imagine if it were personal. (California doesn’t have biological weapons of any kind, does it? I mean, aside from that beige cloud bank that sorta just hovers over everything.)

Please note that Arnold has no intention of stopping with global-warming issues. Despite Fed objections, the governor will unilaterally:

1. Move California to Mecklenburg, North Carolina.
2. Change H 2 O to H 3 O.
3. Eliminate the genitive case in Latin.
4. Mail out the Director’s Cut of Jingle All the Way in lieu of tax refunds.
5. Declare Article 2, Section 1, of the U.S. Constitution a typo.

And this is as it should be. After all, Americans crave strong leadership. Leaders crave a strong America. The craven whimper like a puppy at Michael Vick’s house. (I have no idea where I’m going with this . . . )