Answers to Questions You May Have About the Snake Fight Portion of Your Thesis Defense

A few weeks ago a friend asked me why why I didn’t pursue a PhD. “Snakes,” I explained, “I’m deathly afraid of snakes.”

In case you weren’t aware, snake fighting is one of the great traditions of higher education. Luke Burns has a helpful FAQ on ” The ‘Snake Fight” Portion of Your Thesis Defense “:

Q: Do I have to kill the snake?
A: University guidelines state that you have to “defeat” the snake. There are many ways to accomplish this. Lots of students choose to wrestle the snake. Some construct decoys and elaborate traps to confuse and then ensnare the snake. One student brought a flute and played a song to lull the snake to sleep. Then he threw the snake out a window.

Q: Does everyone fight the same snake?
A: No. You will fight one of the many snakes that are kept on campus by the facilities department.

Q: Are the snakes big?
A: We have lots of different snakes. The quality of your work determines which snake you will fight. The better your thesis is, the smaller the snake will be.

Q: Does my thesis adviser pick the snake?
A: No. Your adviser just tells the guy who picks the snakes how good your thesis was.

Read more . . .

Next
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE

Save the Fox, Kill the Fetus

Question: Why do babies in the womb have fewer rights than vermin? Answer: Because men can buy…

The Battle of Minneapolis

Pavlos Papadopoulos

The Battle of Minneapolis is the latest flashpoint in our ongoing regime-level political conflict. It pits not…

Of Roots and Adventures

Peter J. Leithart

I have lived in Ohio, Michigan, Georgia (twice), Pennsylvania, Alabama (also twice), England, and Idaho. I left…