Advice from Ayn Rand

This is heavy-handed and one’s amusement will depend on one’s views of the target, but some of you will enjoy it: Ayn Randers , an advice column written by one of the last century’s morally coarsest political thinkers. For example:

Dear Ayn,

I’m dating a man who I think I love, but I’m afraid he’s having an affair. He comes home late, he acts suspiciously, and he even has red lipstick on his collar. Should I confront him or just hope for the best?

— County Affair

Dear County,

Red lipstick? Your husband is a communist. Divorce him and sell his clothes, children, and pens to make money to spend on cars, human slaves, and bigger pens. This will simultaneously stimulate the economy and punish the slaves for not having jobs. Slaves: what lazybones!

Hope this helps,
Ayn,

Update:  Here is something also from McSweeney’s not heavy-handed and much funnier: Our Daughter Isn’t a Selfish Brat: Your Son Just Hasn’t Read Atlas Shrugged .