It has been suggested to me that this wedding homily might be of more general interest. Perhaps you will agree. I might add that Gwyneth is the daughter of George and Joan Weigel. She and Robert are now serving medical internships at Johns Hopkins.
In the Name of the + Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
Robert and Gwyneth, I thank you for inviting me to your wedding. On most occasions, but especially at weddings, brevity is a blessing, and so I will try to brief.
I have known Gwyneth for a long time, and have long been impressed by her beauty, talents, and other virtues. From the beginning, she impressed me as a persistent child. In the years along the way to this moment, her persistence has paid off, not least of all in the discovery of Rob. He assures me that he well knows that he is the undeserving beneficiary of her belief that she refused to settle for less than the best. In all the years to come, may he always know that and may she always believe that.
The story of Gwyneth and the story of Rob now converge in the story of marriage and family. It is their marriage and family, to be sure, but it engages also the stories of her family and his family and, truth to tell, the families of each of us here.
This wedding is not just between Rob and Gwyneth. Their marriage is not a private contract, a deal they have struck between themselves, but a public covenant, witnessed and ratified by the community of faith. That witnessing and ratifying community includes more than all the people here; it includes the angels and the saints. In this wedding Eucharist, as in every Eucharist, we join our prayers to the prayer of the angels, the saints, and all the choirs of heaven¯and they join their prayer to ours.
In the nuptial blessing, we will pray that Rob and Gwyneth "may live to see their children’s children." In Christ and through Christ, the past, the present, and the future are joined in this moment. From generation to generation, the stories of which this marriage is part continue, until the story of the world is complete.
So what is happening today is not just between Rob and Gwyneth. We all have a stake in it. It is no exaggeration to say that the whole world has a stake in it. Marriage and family demonstrate the possibility of human love and faithfulness, and without love and faithfulness the story of the world is shattered and stopped. That is why all of us are here to affirm what you are doing today, to wish you well, to pray you well. That is why we need to pay attention to the biblical texts that the two of you have chosen for this liturgy: Jeremiah, 1 John, and St. Matthew chapter 5.
Jeremiah. “Behold, the days are coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and the house of Judah.” The Bible compares the covenant between God and his people with the covenant between husband and wife. It is as we read in the book of Genesis: "Therefore a man leaves his father and his mother and cleaves to his wife, and the two become one flesh."
Think about it: one flesh, one body, one story. It is an audacious thing, it is an awesome thing, it is a covenantal thing. From here on out, you will never say "I" without also meaning "we." You are today vowing to demonstrate the possibility of making a gift of yourself, a mutual gift of self, the one to the other. Each says, "All that is mine is thine and all that is thine is mine." In sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for better or for worse, until death do you part. We are here to pray that you will do it. We depend on it. The world depends on it.
Today is the day of St. Maximilian Kolbe, and it is also the eve of the Assumption of Our Lady. In Auschwitz he gave his life that another might live. Our Lady was for St. Maximilian and is for you the exemplar of covenantal fidelity. Pray for the grace to conform your will to the will of God. In sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, for better or for worse, may your marriage be from day to day and year to year a covenant sustained by the words of Mary, “Let it be with us according to your word.” We depend on it. The world depends on it.
And then you chose the words from 1 John. “Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God . . . for God is love.” St. Paul writes, “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” Bearing all things is another way of saying that you will sometimes have to put up with one another. I know that doesn’t sound very romantic, and two people in love may think they will never be just putting up with one another. But have no illusions, those times will come.
The sighs of love will at times be mixed with sighs of resignation at failings big and little. And when those times come, we pray for you the form of love that is putting up with one another. You know that you will be able to love one another, no matter what, because you know your love is not your achievement but God’s gift. St John says, “In this is love, not that we loved God but that he loved us.” Love one another with the love by which you are loved.
You have heard it said that love is never having to say you’re sorry. That is a truly dumb saying. Love is saying you’re sorry in the sure confidence that nothing you have done and nothing the other has done can break the bond of the love of God by which you are bound. In this Mass and every Mass we pray the Our Father: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Forgive one another with the forgiveness by which you are forgiven.
To be in love is a thing of wonder. May you always be for one another the young lovers you are today. But that is not the foundation of your marriage. You are brought together and you are bound together by the love of God in Jesus Christ. Abide in that love, trust that love; that love will never fail you. It is the love by which most deeply you will be able to love another.
“God is love.” He is the source of love; he is the well of love that never runs dry. When you need to draw closer to one another, draw closer to the love of God in Jesus Christ. Marriage is a sacrament of that love. Your love will help to sustain your marriage. Just as important, and sometimes more important, your marriage will help to sustain your love.
And then you chose Matthew 5: Jesus said, “You are the salt of the earth . . . . You are the light of the world.” Season the earth with your witness; illumine the world with the light of your love. People will be watching you, as they should. Pray that people will say, “Gwyneth and Rob, we see through you. We see, through you, Jesus Christ the Light of the world.” Let his light shine in you, let his light shine through you.
Such is the covenant the Lord is making with you this day. Such is the covenant to which you are saying with the Blessed Virgin Mary, “Let it be with us according to your word.” From this day on, you will never say “I” without also meaning “we.” And when you say “we,” Rob will mean Gwyneth and Gwyneth will mean Rob, and both will mean Christ. Thus will you demonstrate that possibility of love and faithfulness without which the story of the world is shattered and stopped.
That is why we are here, witnessing and ratifying what you do today. That is why we are praying for you and praying with you. We depend on you. The world depends on you. By the grace of God, you will not fail one another, you will not fail us, you will not fail the covenant that is sacramentally secured and celebrated on this your wedding day.
In the Name of the + Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.
