I would say this is splendid, but that’s not allowed. First Things writer Dimitri Cavalli sends along this amusing and instructive catalogue of writing dos and don’ts, compiled in 1915 by The Kansas City Star and given to Ernest Hemingway during his stint as a police and emergency-room reporter. Hemingway praised this guide as offering the “best rules I ever learned in the business of writing.” *Prospective FT authors, take heed!*
Here are some of the more edifying entries:
- A Woman of the Name of Mary Jones —Disrespect is attached to the individual in such sentences. Avoid it. Never use it even in referring to street walkers.
- Avoid the use of adjectives, especially such extravagant ones as splendid, gorgeous, grand, magnificent, etc.
- Say evening clothes , not full dress . [A common error on our pages.]
- “He was made unconscious,” not “he was rendered unconscious.” “He died on the sidewalk” not “He fell dead on the sidewalk.”
- The police tried to find her husband, not tried to locate her husband. To locate , used as a transitive verb, means to establish .
- The Star does not use ” dope ” or ” dope fiend .” Use habit forming drugs or narcotics and addicts .
- “He suffered a broken leg in a fall,” not “he broke his leg in a fall.” He didn’t break the leg, the fall did. Say a leg, not his leg, because presumably the man has two legs.
- “She was born in Ireland and came to Jackson County in 1874” not “but came to Jackson County.” She didn’t come here to make amends for being born in Ireland. This is a common abuse of the conjunction.
- Such words as ” tots ,” ” urchins ,” and ” mites of humanity ” are not to be used in writing of children. In certain cases, where ” kids ” conveys the proper shading and fits the story, it is permissible.
And, a final word of wisdom: “He died of heart disease, not heart failure—everybody dies of heart failure.”
